


Practice Makes Perfect B

by thebasement_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-09-30
Updated: 1999-09-30
Packaged: 2018-11-20 12:31:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11335674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebasement_archivist/pseuds/thebasement_archivist
Summary: Sex can't *always* be rockets and roman candles for Fox and Alex... can it?





	Practice Makes Perfect B

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Basement](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Basement), which moved to the AO3 to ensure the stories are always available and so that authors may have complete control of their own works. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Basement's collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thebasement/profile).

 

Practice Makes Perfect - Version B by Mare

Title: Practice Makes Perfect - Version B (M/K slash)  
Author: Mare ()  
Rating: R  
Disclaimer: Not mine. Property of Chris Carter, Ten-Thirteen, etc., etc. No copyright infringement intended. Besides, maybe it's better he doesn't know what I'm doing with his characters...  
Summary: Sex can't *always* be rockets and roman candles for Fox and Alex... can it?  
Archiving: I'll handle ATXC & Gossamer. Anywhere else, please ask.  
A few notes:  
(1) Yes, this is the slash version of an MSR I posted a while ago (Practice Makes Perfect Version A). Why this happened is a long story. Don't ask.  
(2) Parts of this one are virtually identical to parts of Version A. Yes, I already know this.  
(3) No, it's not a cop-out <g> Believe it or not, the conversion to slash was a lot harder than I thought it'd be, even using some of the same stuff.  
(4) No, it's not plagiarism if you rip yourself off <g>  
That said, this is my very first slash piece (a genre I swore I'd never write), and was written by someone still very much with a het-fic mind-set, so if I goofed horribly, please tell me nicely <g>

* * *

Practice Makes Perfect - Version B  
by Mare  
7/26/98 - 7/29/98

"God, Krycek, I've waited... four years... for this..."

"I know, I can't believe we waited this -- ohhh, Mulder --"

"That wasn't me. I think it was the doorknob."

"Was it? Oh, um..."

"Just... forget it. C'mere... Comrade."

"I -- OWWW! Dammit, Mulder, just because we waited four years doesn't mean you can just slam me against the wall!"

"Heat of passion, Alex... I need you right now..."

"Hey, what's up with the first names?"

"We're about to consummate four years of sexual tension. Shouldn't I be allowed to call you Alex by now?"

"If you call me Alex, I get to call you Fox."

"Sure, fine, whatever, just get over here... I need you NOW..."

"We waited this long; I think we can wait long enough to get comfortable."

"Here, we can start right now... you're overdressed --"

"Hey, that was my favorite shirt!"

"Sorry, Alex. Don't tell me nobody ever did this to you before?"

"Sure, but at least the other one had some respect for my clothes. Oh, hell, guess I'll have to borrow some of yours now."

"We're about to have sex and you're thinking about clothes?"

"I'm sorry, Fox. Really. Here, let me make it up to you --"

"'S okay, really, I -- oooh, remind me to tear your clothes off more often --"

"There's more where that came from, Spooky. Follow me."

"Anywhere, Comrade."

"Wait, stop right there."

"I thought you wanted comfortable...?"

"You mean there's someplace other than right here to be comfortable?"

"I DO have a bed, y'know."

"You do? Doesn't matter; we can be comfortable right here on the sofa. In fact... let's start getting a little more comfortable right now..."

"Boxers, Alex?"

"Yeah... got a problem with that?"

"I was, er... under the impression you didn't, um... wear anything..."

"Where the hell did you get that idea? Do you have any clue how uncomfortable that is?"

"Um... no comment..."

"Fantasies, Fox? All in your fantasies? C'mon, admit it. I have fantasies too, Fox. Wicked, wicked fantasies. Let me tell you about one of them..."

"No, let me demonstrate one of mine. It starts with my hands here, just... like... this."

"Just like... ohh, perfect, Fox, perfect, right there -- Come here. Now."

"Jeez, Alex, if I knew you could kiss like that --"

"Shut up and kiss me again."

"I've got a better idea. Gotta get rid of these boxer things... this would be easier if you really didn't wear any..."

"What kind of slut do you think I am? Thanks a lot, Fox. I --Ohhhhhh, that's it, right there, do that again... oh my God, Fox, don't stop... I need you, right NOW... ohh -- Oh. Ow! What are you *doing*?"

"You don't like?"

"No, I... just never felt anything quite like *that* before..."

"Was it good for you?"

"Well... uh... can you get back to more, um... conventional things? That was really kind of weird."

"But did it work?"

"Um..."

"Never mind, let's try this instead..."

"Ooh, that's more like it, perfect, just like that, yesyesyes make me come, Fox-- WAIT! Don't stooooooop!"

"Have to, Alex... need... whew, *knew* there were some in that pocket."

"So... hurry up!"

"Um... Alex..."

"Fox, NOW, dammit!"

"Alex... can you open this?"

"Oh, for -- Give me that! Haven't you learned how to open a condom wrapper *yet*?"

"Hey, it's not my fault! It's not like they perforate them or anything --"

"Look at this, Fox. What does it say? 'Tear here.' So you just... hmm... Fox?"

"Here, let me try. Damn, what do they seal these things with, super glue?"

"I thought I saw scissors around here somewhere..."

"Never mind -- GOT IT!"

"Oh, good. Here, let me --"

"Got it covered, Alex. You get the next one, okay?"

"Fox, hurry up... I want you right nooowww..."

"No, Alex... don't do tha-- aahhhh -- aw, hell."

"Fox, no. You didn't."

"Sorry, Alex. It's been a while since I've had, er... live stimulation..."

"Why didn't you tell me? We could've moved this along faster, y'know."

"Sorry."

"Well, before we do anything else, you might want to get rid of this. Oh well. Took us longer to open it than to use it, huh?"

"That's okay, you don't have to... I've got it, Alex..."

"I just want to help --"

"I told you I *have* it... um... uh-oh."

"Yuck."

"It slipped out of my hand!"

"You really could've tied a knot in it."

"I never got a chance!"

"Y'know, those stains are a bitch to get out of leather if you let 'em set."

"Yeah, well, that's not your problem, is it?"

"Oh, never mind. Dump that thing and get over here. This all started out so well, It might be nice if *something* went right tonight."

"So... what'd you have in mind?"

"C'mon, Fox. You really need to ask? You may not be ready, but I am, so --"

"Alex?"

"What?"

"Um... can't believe I'm saying this, but... not now..."

"What? Okay, now I know you're insane. Isn't that what we're here for?"

"Yeah, but... I really, really wanted to top..."

"Fox, does it matter who tops? C'mon, just turn over."

"Alex, please?"

"Oh... aw, hell, never could say no to you when it counted. Just... sometime today, please?"

"It won't be long, I promise. And... I could make up for it while we're waiting..."

"Just... no biting, okay?"

"Didn't I ever tell you I don't bite? Let's try... this..."

"Uh, okay, yeah, that's good... that's *real* good... Anybody ever tell you your technique is unique? Not what I'm used to --Oh, God, yeah, that's it that's it that's it... Oh my God... ahhhhh... OW!"

"Sorry..."

"I thought you said you didn't bite! Y'know, Spooky, if you bite it off, we'll both regret it in a BIG way..."

"I *said* I was sorry!"

"Aw, hell. Don't look at me like that. You know what that look does to me..."

"So, Alex, what was that about unique technique?"

"A good thing, Fox. Under the circumstances, a very good thing. Too bad you didn't keep it up. So... aren't you ready yet?"

"Um... no..."

"Hmm... don't suppose I could, um... hurry things up a little?"

"Whatever you want. Got an idea?"

"Just a small one. You need to get, um... reaccustomed to live stimulation..."

"Oh, um... ooooh, that's good, Alex... yeah, I could get accustomed to that..."

"Glad you like it. Hmm... let's try something else..."

"Alex... um, it's not a popsicle..."

"What?"

"Nothing personal; that just doesn't do anything for me. You *have* done this before, right?"

"Picky, aren't we? Do you want to get to the main event or not?"

"Of course I do! Just... go back to what you were doing before, okay? The way you kiss, you oughta have no problem with --ohhhhh, yeah, just like that, perfect, you got it, don't stop..."

"Um... Fox? Just let me know when you're ready, okay?"

"Alex... Alex... Alex... STOP! I'm ready!"

"You are? But --"

"Trust me, I'm ready. That's as big as it gets."

"Oh, yeah, so it is. Should've remembered. It's just that... W--um... my last partner was, um... Oh, well, they say size doesn't matter anyway."

"Shut up and assume the position, okay?"

"Sure you don't need help with that wrapper this time?"

"Nope, got it on the first try. Just think, four years of fantasies all come down to this one moment..."

"Um... Fox? Anytime now."

"Whaddya mean, anytime now? Don't you feel --"

"I mean, enough with the fingers! I'm ready. Will you just get on with it?"

"Fingers? What the hell are you talking about, Alex?"

"Oh! Oh, you're in? How come -- Ahhh, that's it, now I feel it! Oooh, that's interesting... do that again?"

"Alex, there's not a whole lotta variations on this theme, y'know... Oooh, keep doing that... you squeeze like a python..."

"More, Fox, faster, harder --"

"You want *more*?"

"Fox... help me out here!"

"Can't... give you much... ohhh... oh my God... Alex..."

"Not yet!!"

"Ahhhh. Perfect. Better than any fantasy. How 'bout you?"

"Fox... I'm not finished!"

"You're not -- Want me to try that thing again? That should work now."

"Never mind. Ain't gonna happen."

"It'll only take a minute --"

"Never mind. See this? It's too late. It won't work."

"But Alex --"

"You *could've* used your hands, y'know. You *could've*... oh, wait, maybe you couldn't have. I guess size does matter after all..."

"Alex --"

"It's okay, Fox. Let's just call this... an experiment that failed. Or only partly succeeded. You go back to your videos, I'll go back to Walter --"

"WHO??"

"Walter."

"Walter SKINNER??"

"Yes, Fox, Walter Skinner. Your boss. You see... no offense intended, of course, but... HE can make me come just by touching me. HE doesn't finish before he starts. HE knows how to use teeth properly when giving a blow job. And HE knows how to open a condom wrapper!"

"But Alex --"

"And he can dispose of one without SPILLING it, too. Get the picture, Fox?"

"But Alex --"

"It's okay, Fox. No hard feelings, really. Are those my clothes over there? Hey, you don't mind if I borrow that shirt, do you?"

"But Alex --"

"I told you, Fox, it's *okay*. We never have to say another word about it. See you next time the aliens start acting up?"

"But Alex --"

"Fox, if it makes you feel any better, it wasn't really your fault. I don't blame you. Really. It's just that..."

"But Alex --"

"It just wasn't that good for me, okay?"

"But Alex--"

"Yes, Fox?"

"Can't we try again? I'll let you top this time..."

"Sure. Give me a call when you get your act together, okay? Practice. Couldn't hurt..."

"Wait! Alex?"

"Yes, Fox?"

"You and Skinner..."

"We came, so to speak, to an understanding."

"Really?"

"Really, Fox."

"Alex?"

"Yeah?"

"No offense or anything, but... Walter always told me he likes me best."

"You and Walter? I'm impressed -- didn't know you had the guts. 'Course, I knew there was somebody else; we were never exclusive or anything. He told you he likes you best?"

"Um... yeah... once..."

"Poor naive Fox. If your nights with him are anything like tonight... he lied."

"He lied?"

"Yup. You could learn from him, y'know. I did... as you'll find out... next time."

"Next time? Um... when? Now...?"

"Aren't you the horny little bastard today? Not now; I have to be somewhere."

"Please?"

"Aw, c'mon, keep those hands to yourself. I told you I can't now..."

"Soon?"

"Like I said, give me a call... uh... Fox? Um... stop th--"

"Soon, Alex...?"

"Um... uh... ohhhh.... Aw, hell, fuck the appointment..."

"No, fuck me, Alex. Now..."

"Slut."

"Just the way you like me, isn't it?"

"Is that from your profile on me?"

"Alex?"

"Yeah?"

"Shut up and fuck me, will you?"

"Might as well... may be the only way I'll come tonight..."

"Fuck you, Alex."

"I thought I was supposed to fuck *you*."

"Well, will you shut up and just *do* it?"

"My pleasure. Oh, and Fox?"

"What *now*?"

"I love it when you beg."

\--Fin--

Comments, feedback, etc. to . FYI, not only is this a first attempt at slash, it's also a converted MSR (another genre I swore I'd never write). So... be kind :-)


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